I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
