Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
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I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
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You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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