Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
