I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
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