the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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