so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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