You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
