dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
