he shaved USA in his pubs
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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