I just pynch a tree in the face
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
