The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
