ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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