I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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