You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
