When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
