its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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