He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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