I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So vagazzling was a success
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize