When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
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K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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