So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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