4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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