fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
