Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
