:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
