just come out here and I will go home with you...
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
