Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
