u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
