He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
