just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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