Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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