Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
