U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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