I just threw up on my dentist
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
