He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
