dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
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She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
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I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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