I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
