everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
