I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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