I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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