Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
