I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
