I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Damn victory sex feels great
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
