she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
