guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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