then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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