She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
