question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize