Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
