I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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