smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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