If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
