My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
