sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
