apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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