turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
