I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
This toilet bowl is my home.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize