shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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