Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
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If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
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also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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