could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Randomize
