Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
