3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
