If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
