Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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